lost my two best friend within the space of a couple months. goes to show you really cannot trust anyone.

today’s been really difficult

i weighed myself and realised that i’ve put on half a stone, yet again. my weight yo-yo’s so much and it stresses me out. i need to lose atleast a stone for me to be happy again. my boyfriend noticed i was unhappy and questioned me and i told him everything, he’s helped me have some small bits to eat but i can tell he’s worried.

i’m worried. i don’t want to fall back into old habits but it’s so hard and i’m so unhappy.

because i burnt my foot at work last week, my bosses are fully panicking that i’m gonna sue or something because of faulty equipment so they’ve given me permission to have until wednesday off (a minimum of til monday). dunno if im happy about it cus long weekend but then again i get bored stupid when im not at work.


i’m honestly so unhappy with my appearance. 

my skin is breaking out SO bad all the time, my stomach is constantly bloated and my thighs are fucking massive. i hate that i’m the fat one out of me and my sister. she’s got the perfect figure, her stomach’s completely flat and her legs go on for miles. every time i try to lose weight i just pile it straight back on and it makes me so upset. today was the first time in a while where i looked in the mirror and cried at what i saw. i hate it. i need to sort my image out so i can be happy with myself once and for all. i just wish i hadn’t been cursed with the chubby gene.

i’m so disgusting.

this weekend has made me realise how in love i am. i’m so unbelievably happy and feeling positive about how things are gonna start moving upwards within the next few months. life is so, so good.

not seen this time of day in aaaages. get to go home today though and knowing that in 14/15 hours i’ll be with my favourite person in the world makes the early morning worth it.

actually fuming. walkin down the street in spain and some absolute melt in jelly
shoes decided to try talk to me in spanish and stroked my arm and tried to touch my arse. never wanted to backhand someone so much before in y life. i’m not usually one to get annoyed at comments made and stuff but DONT try and touch me like that when you dont know me and are a stranger in another country on the street. its not
going to get you laid, absolute piece of filth.

i’m genuinely so saddened by the death of Robin Williams. i never thought i’d feel this way over the death of someone i never had and never would meet. it just goes to show that someone who everyone thought was so positive and happy was actually struggling so much on the inside. i feel as though i’ve lost a long-lost uncle, i grew up watching him in all his movies, as did many other people of my generation, and of generations before and after mine. i honestly hope his family and close loved ones are okay during this awful time, and i hope the media takes a leaf out the “how to not be an insensitive prick” book and leaves them alone like they should. RIP you absolute legend.